3 Reasons I am a bad person (and you are too)

This seems like a pity parrade but it's good for you to get out the bad to relase space for the good and it seems I always only post in the middle of the night (UK time) but here it is 

The Ten Reasons I am a bad person:

1) I'm incredibly lazy.

Everything I do, is to the lowest standard possible.

Even this blog is shoddy (I promise I'll fix that)

But my lazieness isn't just college work or blogging it's in my friendships and relationships too 

I seriously ignore alot of people cuz I'd rather just stay at home

and do... I don't even know I just find things to waste my time.

I've lost friends and other very special people because of this

and I almost lost one of the best friends I've ever had because of it..

(also this post is proof too because I could of spilled alot just on number one alone)

so that's No1.

2) I live in a total fantasy world.

Many people have the same kinda issue but mine is the the girl extent.

not being sterotypical but in my many years of being a boys girl

I learnt that the mode highest limit a boy will "fantasise" about 

relationships and life is sex yup (and just to back you fellas up us girls do it too)

But we also think up romantic scenes in our heads with people we probably just met or have had little contact with. It's an annoying side effect of being born with both x & y's (boo)

but I do this far, far, far, too much and it affects the way we feel about people, 

so I could believe that I'm totally in love with you because in my head 

we probably went to Paris,had a Disney style duet about our un-dying love for each other 

and a step-up style dance that changed our lives (probably whilst water was coming from somewhere)

which leads us to...

3) I lie. ALOT.

I'll admit it here and now.

Yes my family are from London, yes they still live there but I am not constantly there.

To explain how this ties in with number two 

I'll do my best to link it up,

I may of met a guy at work or college or wherever,we may of got on really well

yeah maybe I got his number and we hung out once but for some reason I feel I have to add to that story...

so all of a sudden, he came up with a witty chat up line that I replied straight back 

(with an even Whittier line bien sûr) 

and then we went out to see an amazing new band 

LIE. LIE.LIE.

we had the casual boring and extremely awkward "getting to know you" chat 

I freaked him out a little because I panicked and probably gave him a random fact I re-tweeted 

earlier that day about  Japanese men's average sperm count

(This isn't a lie this actually one happened) 

he did that awkward laugh and I returned home early and sat on youtube scouring it's musical depths for something to show off on Tuesday at college. and had a big tub of cookie dough 

(Lie I'm broke so I probably had lidil brand vanilla)

but a spider may weave a web but people can destroy those too easily & the spider is left with no home

(I'm trying to be really wise here so be gentle)

But.. spiders still weave another web after that

Basically what I'm trying to say is, we lie. we get caught and everything we thought we had can disappear but for some stupid reason we'll do it all over again.

WHY? because we're human and that's what we do,

we all have flaws and these 3 are in everyone.

sometimes people get so worked up thinking they're a terrible excuse for human but we're all the same and after you accept that well why would you give a fuck about any of those qualities? 

I must be out of my mind

Creative as my brain is it seems to enjoy it more when it's 1am and I was close to drifting off...

That and I'm waiting for my mother to return home from one of her benders. 

But any how here I am throwing myself out into the world of blogs and I can easily guess I'm not going

to be an over night sensation although it would be pretty amazing but a total and utter miracle.

my problem is well what I believe it to be is;

1) I live in a semi rural market town not exactly Paris or London

2) I am in no way or how Indie or Hipster as per blog requirements should be

3) I am 17 and totally lost when everyone else seems to know what they're doing

so...

erm I guess I could properly explain why I'm here hoping to get the slightest bit of notation 

I'm not going to go cheesy "since I was young" crap because when I was a foetus as such I wanted to be a frog...yup but any how since around the beginning of my final year in the hell pit of secondary school my dream was crushed (not the frog dream I had out grown that once I had discovered S-club 7) but my dream

of becoming a cosmetic scientist. I had this whole dream of combining my love for science

and obsession with make-up and what not into a career but it seemed I had lost my way 

and was quite clearly and I'll add rudely informed in a meeting with 2/3 of my science teachers what

I interpreted as "you're a waste of our time and there is no way you'll ever amount to anything other than perhaps a hairdresser or childminder" these two teachers I will say had no faith in me at all and if I'm honest,
I didn't either.

So with that my science dream died and so somewhere I can't remember along the lines I decided Journalism was for me but it's a work in progress for now 2 years on a diploma in Media and then who knows?

Strange isn't it

Strange isn't it

Strange isn't it how we've grown up together

Strange isn't it how we said best friends forever

Strange isn't it how we won't admit our friendship to others

Strange isn't it how everyone notices our bond maybe it's the way you looks at me when I'm looking away or the times when I'd tie your shoes in the pouring rain.

Strange isn't it how we're not quite sure of us

Strange isn't it how we don't know if it's Skinny Love or Lust.

Strange isn't it how I just hope and dream of it being just us.

Gemma Lancaster-Prose